A friend of mine forwarded me some words of advice from her mom, who herself battled cancer, and is even still undergoing treatments. When I read the words, I was taken aback, especially since someone I never met took the time to write me. I want to thank her for all of the encouragement.
I'm so sorry about Anil. Is he the one who...had a ball at your party. I am so glad to see that. It means a lot. It means he has the zest for life and life is for living. I just read his blog. I am sorry he has to go through those days of uncertainty and high anxiety. Those were the bad days. Even now, compared to all the surgery and chemotherapy, I can still say that those were the bad days. So, please tell Anil that he already made it through the bad days.
If he wishes, you may pass my email address to Anil. There may be days he wants to cuss outside of his wife's hearing. Please let him know that I am available. I wish the Lymphoma, Leukemia society has a net work like Y-Me that talks to people 24 hours a day particularly through the uncertain days.
Yes, I have learned a few life lessons from my journey through cancer recovery.
Lesson one: Life is Good. The converse is: no life is no good. As long as we are alive, there's chances to take, good time to have, things to do and enjoy each day. Even for a healthy person, life is not guaranteed. Cancer survivor, and yes, Anil is a cancer survivor, he didn't keel over and drop dead at diagnosis; has the advantage of realigning priorities live life to the fullest. That doesn't mean to the weirdest, but to sense and feel and love and do and give of ourselves to the fullest. Life is Good!
Lesson two: Friends are better. Friends make life better. I am so glad Anil is already reaching out to friends. The energy, the empathy, the compassion, the helping hands that reach out make life better. My friends at school got me into MD Anderson. Friends got me the gift card to get prepared food. Face it, his friends are not the casserole baking stay at home moms. It's not the money, it the 'don't have to think about it', 'don't have refrigerator space', 'I can't taste anything', and 'blah' days when we could just pick up food at the cafeteria. If can only be improved on a place that delivers. It's the calls to say hello, calls to just hear your voice, calls that don't have to say anything that friends make that make the difference in the world. It's friends that will go out with you and let you cancel at the last minute. It's friends that drop by and won't mind running to grab a towel. I have a cancer buddy who talked me through everything and I barely knew her when we worked together. She has returned to school to teach and is 6 months ahead of me from diagnosis. We are now best buddies. Friends let you pull your "chemo card". Friends don't have to worry about what to say. Friends call! Advice to friends: call! That's huge with me since I cannot keep teaching during my treatment. If you can, keep working. It gives you a reason to get up and shower, it gives you normalcy, it keeps you from cabin fever. This is the time to choose and build your community who you can call on. I have my prayer angels who cover me all over, all the time.
Lesson three: God is Great! My daughter disagrees with me on this point, but I know I can't make it with my outlook without the grace of God. Since my diagnosis, I have one hymn going in my head, and that is "God will take care of you". Remember the saying, there is no atheist in the trenches. Faith in any religion sustains the soul. This is the beauty that will shine through no matter what your body is going through. This is the peace that passes understanding. Prayers sustain all.
Practical cancer lessons:That's it for now.
- Watch out for bad websites. NCI: www.cancer.gov; Am Can Soc: www.cancer.org then like to specialty sites and major medical university sites. Don't go to the patient blogs these can be real downers.
- strategically place multiple barf bucket
- eat what you want, when you want
- watch lots of comedies (what give you belly laughs)
- give yourself a quota on complaints for the day (no reason to whine)
- bald is beautiful
- remember "this too shall pass" applies to everything.
Good luck making connection to good doctors, Anil. You will survive this thing. You will make it. Be Strong!
Leave a comment