Well, it's been a little over a week since I updated my blog. I had been a little lazy. I did feel more of the blahs than before. However, I've been able to get past that and today I feel like my energetic self.
Sometimes I think that one thing affects how I feel about the other. So, last week, after chemo, I was feeling pretty week. That, in turn, made me think about the divorce. And that just wreaked havoc on me emotionally. Both things made me feel like doing nothing around the house. And that in turn makes me feel even weaker. It also works the other way. When my energy level starts coming back, I don't think about her as much. I become more interested in moving on. And that gives me more energy and even more incentive to do things that will help me move on.
So, it's just a matter of getting the push in the right direction when things are looking rough. My sister helped me a bit last week. And talking on the phone with my friends and family, who support me 100%, have been really good.
I guess it's still a bit weird. I've already begun the process of moving on. Each day that goes by, she feels more and more like a stranger to me. Today, it just feels like she is someone I have to deal with on a business sense for the next few months. One thing that I've realized is that I still have the same goals that I had before I met her. I still want to be EVENTUALLY married to someone who I adore and adores me for me and EVENTUALLY have kids. So, I'm still going to work towards those goals, even if it takes me a little bit longer than I would have wanted. The only difference is that I'm going to use what I learned and apply that to the next person and to other parts of my life. I will be a better person for it...200%.
Sometimes I think that one thing affects how I feel about the other. So, last week, after chemo, I was feeling pretty week. That, in turn, made me think about the divorce. And that just wreaked havoc on me emotionally. Both things made me feel like doing nothing around the house. And that in turn makes me feel even weaker. It also works the other way. When my energy level starts coming back, I don't think about her as much. I become more interested in moving on. And that gives me more energy and even more incentive to do things that will help me move on.
So, it's just a matter of getting the push in the right direction when things are looking rough. My sister helped me a bit last week. And talking on the phone with my friends and family, who support me 100%, have been really good.
I guess it's still a bit weird. I've already begun the process of moving on. Each day that goes by, she feels more and more like a stranger to me. Today, it just feels like she is someone I have to deal with on a business sense for the next few months. One thing that I've realized is that I still have the same goals that I had before I met her. I still want to be EVENTUALLY married to someone who I adore and adores me for me and EVENTUALLY have kids. So, I'm still going to work towards those goals, even if it takes me a little bit longer than I would have wanted. The only difference is that I'm going to use what I learned and apply that to the next person and to other parts of my life. I will be a better person for it...200%.
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