Chemo is accumulative. This means that after each treatment, the side effects are a little bit more pronounced than after previous treatments.
I let my hair grow out a little only to find that my hair has thinned out so much that it doesn't look very good. My dad said I definitely looked like a patient. So, I have decided to stick with the bald look for a while.
My nail beds on my hands are discolored now. Looks pretty scary.
This past week has been the roughest for me so far. I've had some pretty annoying acid reflux. I've had some serious constipation, which is not normal. And all of this has made me pretty tired. I haven't been able to concentrate on work as much I normally can. Yesterday, I went rollerblading in Washington Park. After about 10 minutes, I really felt winded. Normally, I can do several laps without an issue.
I weighed myself today and realized that I weigh ten pounds less than what I did when I started all of this. That's a bit freaky because I didn't exercise nearly enough and I've been eating a lot of crap food to know that this cannot be a healthy loss.
It's been a bit weird to see all of these changes to my body just in the last two months. I guess it was always expected, but still a little disappointing at times. For example, I had held to some slim chance that my hair would be in some decent shape for my cousin's wedding in June. I guess I don't look too bad with a bald head, and I look like a bad ass. But that's not really the look I was going for, especially while I'm starting to navigate the dating scene again.
Just thinking about all of this, I also realize that there are other side effects. Cabin fever. I do tend to feel a bit confined because I have to avoid large crowds and avoid traveling in planes. These are mostly precautions and may not have any real merit, but I don't want to suffer any setbacks, especially being so close to being done.
There have been plenty of positive side effects, too. I believe that this has made me closer to my friends and family. I am usually reserved. I like to think of myself as more of a giver than a receiver, meaning I'd rather deal with other peoples issues than express my own. This was even true in my marriage, which may have contributed to it's demise. But now, I feel like I've been talking more to other people about all of this, even if I don't express everything. I have this blog to keep people informed, and it's also become a bit of a release.
I've also found more motivation to do the things that I love to do. I am picking up golf again, joining a softball team, going to the gym to get back in shape, travel. I guess some of this is partly due to the divorce itself. Being single has forced me to go back and find something to do with myself.
I guess I don't know what the lingering side effects will be, physically and mentally. I don't think I'll become some sort of yoga-loving, meditating hippie. I still love sitting on the couch watching sports or movies or TV. This is the hand I was dealt and I have to play. I will have to learn from my mistakes in my marriage, and I will have to keep the strengths that I've found within myself that has gotten me through two life-altering events. It's going to be a tough road.
I let my hair grow out a little only to find that my hair has thinned out so much that it doesn't look very good. My dad said I definitely looked like a patient. So, I have decided to stick with the bald look for a while.
My nail beds on my hands are discolored now. Looks pretty scary.
This past week has been the roughest for me so far. I've had some pretty annoying acid reflux. I've had some serious constipation, which is not normal. And all of this has made me pretty tired. I haven't been able to concentrate on work as much I normally can. Yesterday, I went rollerblading in Washington Park. After about 10 minutes, I really felt winded. Normally, I can do several laps without an issue.
I weighed myself today and realized that I weigh ten pounds less than what I did when I started all of this. That's a bit freaky because I didn't exercise nearly enough and I've been eating a lot of crap food to know that this cannot be a healthy loss.
It's been a bit weird to see all of these changes to my body just in the last two months. I guess it was always expected, but still a little disappointing at times. For example, I had held to some slim chance that my hair would be in some decent shape for my cousin's wedding in June. I guess I don't look too bad with a bald head, and I look like a bad ass. But that's not really the look I was going for, especially while I'm starting to navigate the dating scene again.
Just thinking about all of this, I also realize that there are other side effects. Cabin fever. I do tend to feel a bit confined because I have to avoid large crowds and avoid traveling in planes. These are mostly precautions and may not have any real merit, but I don't want to suffer any setbacks, especially being so close to being done.
There have been plenty of positive side effects, too. I believe that this has made me closer to my friends and family. I am usually reserved. I like to think of myself as more of a giver than a receiver, meaning I'd rather deal with other peoples issues than express my own. This was even true in my marriage, which may have contributed to it's demise. But now, I feel like I've been talking more to other people about all of this, even if I don't express everything. I have this blog to keep people informed, and it's also become a bit of a release.
I've also found more motivation to do the things that I love to do. I am picking up golf again, joining a softball team, going to the gym to get back in shape, travel. I guess some of this is partly due to the divorce itself. Being single has forced me to go back and find something to do with myself.
I guess I don't know what the lingering side effects will be, physically and mentally. I don't think I'll become some sort of yoga-loving, meditating hippie. I still love sitting on the couch watching sports or movies or TV. This is the hand I was dealt and I have to play. I will have to learn from my mistakes in my marriage, and I will have to keep the strengths that I've found within myself that has gotten me through two life-altering events. It's going to be a tough road.
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