I started today thinking that by the end of the day, I would be bitching and drinking heavily. Instead, I finally feel a little bit of closure.
So, today was mediation. This was meant to come to some settlement on all of the major and minor issues related to the divorce. Coming in, I thought this was going to be like the movie, Wedding Crashers, where both parties are in the same room yelling at each other. Instead it was set up so that my and my lawyer were in one room, Shruti and her lawyer were in the other room, and the mediator just shuttled between the two. Shuttle diplomacy.
In the morning, I had this mindset that I was going to get screwed and that I would have to give Shruti everything. As I was going through the process, I kinda felt like I was getting slapped in the face because here she is asking for all this money and stuff after all that happened. I knew I had to treat this as a cost-benefit analysis, but still there was that emotional side to all of this.
Mediation lasted a good four and a half hours. In the end, I think that both of us were tired of all of this fighting. We wanted to just settle. I just wanted to accept it. I think that the settlement ended up being fine for all people involved.
It will mean that I am selling the house and leaving Denver. That was more my decision that she agreed to. I don't feel like I am being forced to sell. More on this in a bit.
At the end of this, we signed the papers. Because we were able to settle this here, our permanent orders hearing is no longer required. On Monday, we expect the decree for separation (which also means divorce) to be filed and then the court to rubber stamp it a few days later. So, by the end of next week, we are no longer considered a married couple.
This whole thing has been one huge weird mess. She did something that really hurt me and others around me. In turn, I did stuff that hurt her and others around her. I knew she read my blog (she confirmed it) and I've written alot of things to try to hurt her, with some success. I regret that now. I regret alot of the hurt that happened during the marriage, too. I know that she does too. I believe her.
I guess sometimes it's hard to really know who was really behind all of this mess, Shruti or her lawyer. Sure, there were some questionable things that had happened that I think that she was responsible for. But I'd like to believe now that Shruti is not the cold-hearted person that I've made her out to be. There's a reason I married her in the first place. But in the end, it's her actions that prove the kind of person she is.
I guess it's time to move on. I don't know if we'll ever be friends after this. I haven't quite figured out if I've forgiven her 100%.
I know I've only been here in Denver for a year and a half and I've experienced some pretty negative things while here. But I've grown fond of this place. This place has a lot of the things that I'm looking for, but it's missing some of the things I need. Even being in this house for only six months, I will miss it alot. It was everything that I wanted in a house, but, unfortunately, it never became the home like it was supposed to be. I know that I could have stayed and started a new life myself here. It's a great place for a fresh start. And before, I would say that I couldn't be here knowing that Shruti was here. But that's no longer the case. Just like the divorce, in the end it's just the right thing to do. I just have to accept that.
I guess that's that. On to better things.
So, today was mediation. This was meant to come to some settlement on all of the major and minor issues related to the divorce. Coming in, I thought this was going to be like the movie, Wedding Crashers, where both parties are in the same room yelling at each other. Instead it was set up so that my and my lawyer were in one room, Shruti and her lawyer were in the other room, and the mediator just shuttled between the two. Shuttle diplomacy.
In the morning, I had this mindset that I was going to get screwed and that I would have to give Shruti everything. As I was going through the process, I kinda felt like I was getting slapped in the face because here she is asking for all this money and stuff after all that happened. I knew I had to treat this as a cost-benefit analysis, but still there was that emotional side to all of this.
Mediation lasted a good four and a half hours. In the end, I think that both of us were tired of all of this fighting. We wanted to just settle. I just wanted to accept it. I think that the settlement ended up being fine for all people involved.
It will mean that I am selling the house and leaving Denver. That was more my decision that she agreed to. I don't feel like I am being forced to sell. More on this in a bit.
At the end of this, we signed the papers. Because we were able to settle this here, our permanent orders hearing is no longer required. On Monday, we expect the decree for separation (which also means divorce) to be filed and then the court to rubber stamp it a few days later. So, by the end of next week, we are no longer considered a married couple.
This whole thing has been one huge weird mess. She did something that really hurt me and others around me. In turn, I did stuff that hurt her and others around her. I knew she read my blog (she confirmed it) and I've written alot of things to try to hurt her, with some success. I regret that now. I regret alot of the hurt that happened during the marriage, too. I know that she does too. I believe her.
I guess sometimes it's hard to really know who was really behind all of this mess, Shruti or her lawyer. Sure, there were some questionable things that had happened that I think that she was responsible for. But I'd like to believe now that Shruti is not the cold-hearted person that I've made her out to be. There's a reason I married her in the first place. But in the end, it's her actions that prove the kind of person she is.
I guess it's time to move on. I don't know if we'll ever be friends after this. I haven't quite figured out if I've forgiven her 100%.
I know I've only been here in Denver for a year and a half and I've experienced some pretty negative things while here. But I've grown fond of this place. This place has a lot of the things that I'm looking for, but it's missing some of the things I need. Even being in this house for only six months, I will miss it alot. It was everything that I wanted in a house, but, unfortunately, it never became the home like it was supposed to be. I know that I could have stayed and started a new life myself here. It's a great place for a fresh start. And before, I would say that I couldn't be here knowing that Shruti was here. But that's no longer the case. Just like the divorce, in the end it's just the right thing to do. I just have to accept that.
I guess that's that. On to better things.
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