I think I will never fully understand why she decided to leave the way she did.
This thought was triggered tonight while I was reading a book called Anticancer: A New Way of Life (more about this in a later entry). One the chapters in this book talks about the Anticancer mind, which about how our mind can be responsible for the growth and prevention of cancer. Stress is one of those things can really make cancer worse, or even bring it back from remission.
Now, go back to March when it all went down. I'm two days from chemotherapy. I think things are going fine. Then she decided to leave me with no support system in place. That's a significant amount of stress to be dumped onto one person. For someone who believes in yoga and ayurvedic teachings, she must have known what she was doing. She was trying to to make my health even worse. Luckily, with all of the other support that I got, I didn't let it. But it still hurt, nonetheless.
The thought process is interesting. I haven't been dwelling on such things, lately. Because it happened to me, there will always be triggers that will remind me of what I thought I had and what I wish I had now. And those triggers are everywhere, especially when I read books about cancer. It's always hard to hear a story where someone's spouse fully supported them through their ordeal. Even when Lance Armstrong had to deal with his cancer, his girlfriend at the time stuck by through the treatments, even though they already knew that the relationship wasn't going to last. That's tough to understand why she didn't have that in her to be that type of person. I guess that tells you what kind of person she is.
In general, I guess it always bothers me how people treat each other. I know of other instances where people have treated others with callous disregard. I know that I probably have done that to other people, too, and that is definitely something I am not proud of. So, I guess I don't know the answer to all of that and probably never will. But thanks to my family, friends, therapist, and this blog, eventually, I'll never need to.
This thought was triggered tonight while I was reading a book called Anticancer: A New Way of Life (more about this in a later entry). One the chapters in this book talks about the Anticancer mind, which about how our mind can be responsible for the growth and prevention of cancer. Stress is one of those things can really make cancer worse, or even bring it back from remission.
Now, go back to March when it all went down. I'm two days from chemotherapy. I think things are going fine. Then she decided to leave me with no support system in place. That's a significant amount of stress to be dumped onto one person. For someone who believes in yoga and ayurvedic teachings, she must have known what she was doing. She was trying to to make my health even worse. Luckily, with all of the other support that I got, I didn't let it. But it still hurt, nonetheless.
The thought process is interesting. I haven't been dwelling on such things, lately. Because it happened to me, there will always be triggers that will remind me of what I thought I had and what I wish I had now. And those triggers are everywhere, especially when I read books about cancer. It's always hard to hear a story where someone's spouse fully supported them through their ordeal. Even when Lance Armstrong had to deal with his cancer, his girlfriend at the time stuck by through the treatments, even though they already knew that the relationship wasn't going to last. That's tough to understand why she didn't have that in her to be that type of person. I guess that tells you what kind of person she is.
In general, I guess it always bothers me how people treat each other. I know of other instances where people have treated others with callous disregard. I know that I probably have done that to other people, too, and that is definitely something I am not proud of. So, I guess I don't know the answer to all of that and probably never will. But thanks to my family, friends, therapist, and this blog, eventually, I'll never need to.
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