In the past couple of weeks, our family has been blessed with two weddings. Congrats to Sonu and Czaee and to Anita and Amar. I couldn't be happier for these guys and the new additions to our family.
Of course, it's not hard to be reminded of things again. But hear me out...it's not that bad...more annoying, really.
So, I've been asked by a couple of people if I'm still bitter. My response is that I'm still bitter towards the ex and not to women or marriage in general. And, really, I just want my damn ring back. If you think about it, the ring to me was something that I worked really hard to purchase and it meant a lot for me to buy it for her, even if she ended up complaining about it. And you know the rest of that story. So, dammit, I want that ring back. But, because of the law, I wasn't able to even ask for that back. So I never did. This was the same with the mangal sutra which is the Indian equivalent of the wedding ring.
When I tell this to people, they pretty much mention to me that she should have given those things back. But, I doubt that will happen because that's the kind of person I married.
So, there's not much I can really do about that. I'll still have a little bit of that bitterness left and that will be carried for a long time.
However, mentally, I'm almost there. It's funny how even those trips that I took with her are now referred with an "I" instead of a "we". "I wanted to leave the Bay Area and move to Denver." "I went to Hawaii." Etc. I do plan on finally deleting all of the old photos that I have on a hard drive in the bank. Of course, not everything can be erased. And everything that I've learned will be a part of me forever. But I can still treat everything as if the marriage didn't even exist in the first place. Which is close to how I think mentally anyways.
In the end, the next person I marry will be treated as the princess that way she does deserve to be treated. She will get the ring that she deserves. She'll even get the wedding that she wants, even if it's the same Indian ceremony. That's just going to be the way it is. And I know I'll be ok with that.
Of course, it's not hard to be reminded of things again. But hear me out...it's not that bad...more annoying, really.
So, I've been asked by a couple of people if I'm still bitter. My response is that I'm still bitter towards the ex and not to women or marriage in general. And, really, I just want my damn ring back. If you think about it, the ring to me was something that I worked really hard to purchase and it meant a lot for me to buy it for her, even if she ended up complaining about it. And you know the rest of that story. So, dammit, I want that ring back. But, because of the law, I wasn't able to even ask for that back. So I never did. This was the same with the mangal sutra which is the Indian equivalent of the wedding ring.
When I tell this to people, they pretty much mention to me that she should have given those things back. But, I doubt that will happen because that's the kind of person I married.
So, there's not much I can really do about that. I'll still have a little bit of that bitterness left and that will be carried for a long time.
However, mentally, I'm almost there. It's funny how even those trips that I took with her are now referred with an "I" instead of a "we". "I wanted to leave the Bay Area and move to Denver." "I went to Hawaii." Etc. I do plan on finally deleting all of the old photos that I have on a hard drive in the bank. Of course, not everything can be erased. And everything that I've learned will be a part of me forever. But I can still treat everything as if the marriage didn't even exist in the first place. Which is close to how I think mentally anyways.
In the end, the next person I marry will be treated as the princess that way she does deserve to be treated. She will get the ring that she deserves. She'll even get the wedding that she wants, even if it's the same Indian ceremony. That's just going to be the way it is. And I know I'll be ok with that.
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