Recently in Colorado Category

One thing that Colorado seems to lack is a visible social networking group for Indian professionals, like Net-IP.  When I had moved to the Bay Area, I found that Net-IP was a good resource to meet new people, and I did end up making friends that I still have today.  But, there's nothing like that here in Denver, or in Colorado for that matter.  Unfortunately, starting a Net-IP chapter requires a significant amount of set up and dedication.  Something, I don't have right now for that. 

Last year, I was told about meetup.com.  It's an online social site where anyone can create a group for anything.  So, I started one for Indians in the Denver/Boulder area.  Right now, this is a precursor to starting a Net-IP chapter once there is significant interest.  Momentum is building, so I'm looking to spread the word.  If you are in the Denver/Boulder area and are interested, please sign up and tell your friends.  It's free (a word I know most Indians like)!

Today was the 2008 Fall Lafayette Block Party.  I hosted it this time around.  It was a long time coming.  It was a really good turn-out.  Plenty of good food and good drinks.  It was a really good way to get everyone together and for people to meet, who haven't yet met.  I also thought it was a good way to have my neighbors get to know me a little bit better.  This neighborhood is full of really good people.  I really enjoyed having them over.

Ever since I've committed to stay in Denver, things have been a lot different. I don't have one foot out the door anymore.  With that, it is starting to feel like I'm establishing some roots. I recently voted, and I actually read up on all of the proposals, because now it feels a bit more important to do so.  I've been getting more and more involved with other groups and meeting new people.  And with this block party, I really feel a bit more like I belong to a community. 

It has been brought to my attention that I've not updated my blog in some time.  I forgot that I needed to satisfy my cousins' hunger for my daily information :-)  Ok, here's a quick rundown of things, but I'll remember to be more persistent at writing.

Actually, it hasn't been that eventful in the last few weeks.  My cousin Kapil is currently living with me and has been for about six weeks.  (Technically, he's not my cousin, but a cousin through marriage.)  So, we've been trying to take advantage of what Denver has to offer, especially, to give him a sense of the area so he can decided to move here at the beginning of next year.  He is going to be taking off this Monday, back to Chicago.

I recently signed the loan documents to refinance my house and to transfer the title in my name.  While it's not official yet, the house is pretty much in my name alone.  This is a good thing because I get some peace of mind now.  I pretty much have free reign to do whatever I want with the house in the future, without having to deal with her.  I don't plan on having any contact with her, ever...Most of my close friends and family already know how I feel about that so I don't need to go into any more detail there.

Anyways, so that's all taken care of now.  Of course, I'm in the midst of my second round of buyer's remorse.  Maybe it was the first round because when the house was purchased the first time, I knew it was the right thing to do with the circumstances.  Now, the circumstances are different.  So, I will go through my bit of remorse.  I guess I've just been focusing a bit on the negatives of living in Denver.  It is still fairly new to me.  I don't have a lot of single friends here.  I haven't met as many Indian women (or any Indians, for that matter) here as I would like.  I'm going to be in a little bit of debt, having to pay all of the lawyer fees and the credit card bills that have piled up.  Argh...it's not a fun thing to think about.  When you're sitting at home by yourself, you tend to think about those things.  But, I also know that it'll take time to make new friends.  By mid next year, I should be fully out of debt (minus the mortgage and car).  Things will be more stable. 

I'm going to Detroit to attend a family friend's wedding (and hang out with family) and then Philadelphia to meet up with some friends.  So, that's a good little break.  And then when I come back, I have a bunch of stuff to start working on, which will keep me busy.

During the last month, I went camping with Kapil and with other friends.  The fresh, crisp air felt very renewing.  And that's where I basically am now.  It's a restart.  I am moving on with my life, and it's exciting to think about.  I just need to maintain a positive attitude about my life and not think about all of the hurt that still rears its ugly head once in a while.  It only takes time. 

In the mean time, I'm here and there...

In my last blog entry, I mentioned that there was a bit of reluctance to leave Denver.  So, today, I officially took my house off the market.  I'm staying put....for now.

It is a good weight off my shoulders because now I can focus on feeling stable again.  I can focus on doing things in the house that I've been wanting to.  I can now commit myself to meeting new friends in the area.  I've been playing around with the idea of starting a club on Meetup.com to meet fellow Indians in the area.  I can finally get a dog!

I know that my head keeps going back and forth.  But, when I was in Detroit, my parents helped me realize that being alone or bored will happen anywhere I go.  So, I can't use that as a reason to leave.  And, now, Shruti and I do talk in a more cordial way so I'm not too worried about running into her and being all emotional.  So, with that, the only thing that I don't like about Denver is diversity, but I'm willing to see what's up with all that with some meet up groups or something. 

The option to move overseas may still come up next year.  So, I guess I will wait until the opportunity actually materializes before I start thinking of picking up and taking off.  So, I'm staying put for now and will give this place at least one more year.  Got to make the most of it now.

I took a last minute trip last week to Detroit for a few days because the divorce was completed.  I got to hang out with my parents, of course, and my cousin Rohit and his new wife Purvi at the Tigers game, and with my friend Marcus and his family.  I wanted the chance to clear my head on a few things, especially, my future plans.

So, what does that mean?  As part of the settlement, I stated that I was going to sell the house, so the house was put on the market this past Friday for $330k (MLS ID 683978).  I have mixed feelings about this.  I really love this house.  This is the house that I would buy if I was single and I had moved to Denver.  I had alot of plans for this house, and it has already been somewhat decorated to my specifications.  Shruti only spent three weeks in this house, so it's not like this house reminds me of her.  It's just empty because it's just me, so it feels a bit lonely at times.

So, while I was in Detroit, I kept trying to figure out what I want to do.  Do I want to leave Denver or not?  It's a hard choice for me now.  The basic problem is that I don't know where I want to end up.  I don't want to be in California.  I have a long list of complaints that I've accumulated since I moved there in 1999.  Chicago has always been a top choice, but it is flat, and I want to still be able to snowboard while my body can take it.

I guess I feel like there's a bit of unfinished business here.  Denver has alot to offer, and I haven't felt like I've taken advantage of it.  Partly because last year, I was too dependent on Shruti for companionship, earlier this year, I was sick, and now because I haven't committed to living here, I haven't tried hard.  But I've started being a part of a few clubs though Meetup.com, so there are still opportunities to do things and meet new people.  I moved here to also be able to be in the mountains. 

The first big con of being in Denver is the lack of diversity. It's a very white city.  The second con is that Shruti is still here, and I still would feel uncomfortable if I ran into her by accident.

I put myself back into the dating scene full time right after the divorce was settled.  I'm back online on all of those sites. I've suggested to family and friends that they set me up with someone.  I'm not looking to rush into something, but it would be good to get back in the game and possibly meet someone who definitely exceeds my wildest dreams.  It's a bit weird, but it has been six months since Shruti has been around.  Even though the divorce was settled fairly recently, we broke up in March. I can easily say that I'm over her now.

But that doesn't mean that I have forgotten how she broke my heart into a million pieces.  I have not forgiven her for leaving me when I had CANCER. People have been asking me about my previous entry regarding the comment that this had to happen.  Well, I never wanted the divorce in the first place. At the time, I felt like everything could have been resolved.  But looking back at the thing that she did, yeah, divorce had to happen. I deserve much better than what she put me through.  And I'm definitely looking for someone who is much better than her. 

So, that now leaves me back to the original statement, do I want to leave Denver?  I still don't have a clear answer.  I hate to say "no" because a few ago, it was a definite "yes."  I guess I still have a bit of time to decide.